Longing to be Spanked
I would like my wife to tie me up and then spank me with a paddle while I lie naked across her knee, but I’m not sure how to approach her.
Longing to be spanked
Dear Longing to be Spanked,
First, let me congratulate you on wanting to explore your desires. Too many people these days don’t and that breaks my heart. Now, to answer your question.
Spanking can be an amazing addition to a relationship, providing that everyone is comfortable, and it’s done correctly; in approach and execution. While the addition of being tied up can raise the erotic nature of spanking and vice versa, my suggestion is to approach your wife about just the spanking first. If that is accepted and put into practice, then you can approach adding in the other element. Both at the same time could overwhelm, especially if this is the first time you have approached her about this type of activity.
My suggestion would be to approach it as a stress relief and power swap for your wife. I can’t speak for all women, but what I can tell you, is that many who enjoy the practice of spanking their partner enjoy it because it puts some control back into their life. Throughout the day, we are bombarded by so much from all different sides. It can be exhausting. That stress builds up in our body. Our attitude changes. We push it down and soldier on, leaving no time for ourselves, no time to release that frustration. Spanking can solve that.
On the flip side, if you are a Type A personality, receiving a spanking can be beneficial. It helps you release your stress and not project it onto your relationship. For example, my partner has a high-stress job and can bring it home with them. This causes arguments over small things that we normally wouldn’t argue about. A spanking session allows them to release all that tension and just be. They know that the person on the other end of the paddle or bare hand wants nothing from them, isn’t expecting anything from them, and just wants to make them happy. Pair that with the erotic aspect of a caring spanking against a bare bottom, and it makes for a wonderful experience for both parties.
Just as with any other aspect of a BDSM activity, rules are a must. If your wife seems open to spanking you, you need to set ground rules. Do you want spanking to be a release or punishment? Are there going to be conditions? If you are late coming home from work, will you get a spanking? Or maybe you won’t get a spanking. Is spanking something you want to incorporate into foreplay? There are many other scenarios that only the two of you will know. Tailor them to your relationship and overall situation. Take them all into consideration and talk them over with your wife.
Another thing I recommend is doing some research into wives spanking their husbands. Gather information on other couples that have integrated the practice, especially the feelings the wives have. It can help to show her that you aren’t alone in wanting her to spank you. You can also gather information on the potential benefits for her, which may help during your conversation.
In the end, the decision is one that has to be between you and your wife. There has to be mutual consent and understanding as to what you each want to get out of the situation. But most importantly, there has to be understanding and respect. You have to go into the conversation knowing and being okay with the fact that she may want nothing to do with it and that’s okay. As I always say, “your kink may not be my kink” and that means that yours may not be hers and that’s okay too. Keep the conversation open about trying new things, and you never know, just planting the seed may be helpful in the long run.
P.S. There’s an article from a woman named Mistress Penny back in 2017 that you may find helpful. You can find that here.